Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just want nice things and good sex
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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