Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
