I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
