she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
