the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
