There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
