god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
