Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he thought i was a dude.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
