Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize