I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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