We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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