I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
