u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
