I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
