He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
