He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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