yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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