Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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