Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
