My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
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i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
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Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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