Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
