DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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