She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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