It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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