I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
