I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
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I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
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I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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