If that was your dad, he is hot
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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