bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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