you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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