he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
