My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
