My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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