my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
