can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
