Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You made out with two different species that night
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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