battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
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Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
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I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.