You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts