big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just pee around me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.