Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  therell be strippers and coke right?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  no strippers. just coke.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i hate this fuckin recession

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): therell be strippers and coke right? (703): no strippers. just coke. (202): i hate this fuckin recession http://tfl.nu/1tv9
  Replies (22) Good night (10690) Bad night (2530)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix. http://tfl.nu/17el
  Replies (7) Good night (2540) Bad night (695) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out. http://tfl.nu/rr3m
  Replies (91) Good night (4098) Bad night (16265) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him. http://tfl.nu/wimg
  Replies (60) Good night (1052) Bad night (3201) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face http://tfl.nu/2kqd
  Replies (9) Good night (4012) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield. http://tfl.nu/kh6y
  Replies (7) Good night (1934) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/ayo2
  Replies (8) Good night (2284) Bad night (930) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL? http://tfl.nu/ejsn
  Replies (12) Good night (2711) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples http://tfl.nu/d5pz
  Replies (3) Good night (446) Bad night (1595) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country. http://tfl.nu/f3mx
  Replies (2) Good night (942) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism. http://tfl.nu/d72k
  Replies (1) Good night (1524) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you. http://tfl.nu/8fht
  Replies (6) Good night (769) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  You'll get a boner for sure

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): You'll get a boner for sure (703): Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey http://tfl.nu/k43v
  Replies (3) Good night (981) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight? http://tfl.nu/39pd
  Replies (8) Good night (1485) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature (610): Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti http://tfl.nu/iam9
  Replies (1) Good night (976) Bad night (436)

Randomize