if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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