I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
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So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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