this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Randomize
