there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
