Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
