Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
