Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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