I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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