I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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