I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
