i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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