I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
