Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
