Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
