There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
