so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
