Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize