thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
