You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
is that a dick in a sweater?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
