I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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