FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
