this just has baby written all over it
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
