Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
