Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
