i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
