Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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