Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
