i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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