I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
