Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
